Top 10 Cognitive Distortions:
Which of these do you do? Check the areas below that you might like to discuss with your coach.
- All or Nothing Thinking: Seeing things as black-or-white, right-or-wrong wiith nothing inbetween. Essentially, if I’m not perfect then I’m a failure.

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- I didn’t finish writing that paper so it was a complete waste of time.
- There’s no point in playing if I’m not 100% in shape. They didn’t show, they’re completely unreliable!
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Overgeneralization: Using words like always, never in relation to a single event or experience.
- I’ll never get that promotion She always does that…
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Minimising or Magnifying
(Also Catastrophizing):Seeing things as dramatically more or less important than they actually are. Often creating a “catastrophe” that follows.- Because my boss publicly thanked her she’ll get that promotion, not me (even though I had a great performance review and just won an industry award).
- I forgot that email! That means my boss won’t trust me again, I won’t get that raise and my wife will leave me.
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“Shoulds”: Using “should”, “need to”, “must”, “ought to” to motivate oneself, then feeling guilty when you don’t follow through (or anger and resentment when someone else doesn’t follow through).
- I should have got the painting done this weekend.
- They ought to have been more considerate of my feelings, they should know that would upset me.
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Labelling: Attaching a negative label to yourself or others following a single event.- I didn’t stand up to my co-worker, I’m such a wimp! What an idiot, he couldn’t even see that coming!
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Jumping to Conclusions:
1) Mind-Reading: Making negative assumptions about how people see you without evidence or factual support.Your friend is preoccupied and you don’t bother to find out why. You’re thinking:
- She thinks I’m exaggerating again or He still hasn’t forgiven me for telling Fred about his illness.
2) Fortune Telling: Making negative predictions about the future without evidence or factual support
- I won’t be able to sell my house and I’ll be stuck here (even though housing market is good).
- No-one will understand.I won’t be invited back again (even though they are supportive friends).
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Discounting the Positive: Not acknowledging the positive. Saying anyone could have done it or insisting that your positive actions, qualities or achievements don’t count…
- That doesn’t count, anyone could have done it.
- I’ve only cut back from smoking 40 cigarettes a day to 10. It doesn’t count because I’ve not fully given up yet.
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Blame & Personalization: Blaming yourself when you weren’t entirely responsible or blaming other people and denying your role in the situation- If only I was younger, I would have got the job
- If only I hadn’t said that, they wouldn’t have…
- If only she hadn’t yelled at me, I wouldn’t have been angry and wouldn’t have had that car accident.
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Emotional Reasoning: I feel, therefore I am. Assuming that a feeling is true – without digging deeper to see if this is accurate.
- I feel such an idiot (it must be true). I feel guilty (I must have done something wrong).
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I feel really bad for yelling at my partner, I must be really selfish and inconsiderate.
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Mental Filter: Allowing (dwelling on) one negative detail or fact to spoil our enjoyment, happiness, hope etc
- You have a great evening and dinner at a restaurant with friends, but your chicken was undercooked and that spoiled the whole evening.
Goal-setting is one of those things that people, it seems, are near unanimous on its importance to life, career, success, achievement. And there are a great many speakers who advocate goal-setting. The latest ‘fad’ in this is The Secret – Rhonda Byrne’s now famous TV/Film Documentary which, in a nutshell, purports that people who envision what they want will attract its actualization into their life. Now, I’m not going to detract from this appealing idea because there is something in it – but it isn’t new by any means, it’s been written in the Bible for several hundred years. There are others including Zig Ziglar and Anthony Robbins – both of whom quote an oft-used story about the effectiveness of goal-setting: This is the Yale Study of 1953 – some say it is Harvard, and some challenge the year – it matters not, since the study is an urban myth. Let me remind you of the story, you may have heard variations and the precise percentages vary: Yale researchers surveyed the graduating class of 1953 to determine how many of them have specific, written goals for their future. 3% of them had. Twenty years later, the researchers followed up with the surviving members of the class and discovered that the 3% with written goals had accumulated more personal wealth than the remaining 97% combined! I repeat – this ‘study’ is an urban myth – whilst it is quoted by some ‘authorities’ and famous gurus on management and self-leadership, there is NO record of the study and NO paper on it. Yet its allure is understandable – it feeds beautifully into the concept that in order for you to accumulate wealth (aka be successful) not only must you have specific goals, but you must write them down. For someone selling a process on written goal setting (see Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins) it ‘proves’ the process. So is goal-setting really important, or is it just a load of twaddle? To answer this question, rather than rely on stories of spurious origin, it’s important to have some robust research to find out if there’s anything in it.
Hold on just a moment though, what do we mean by a ‘goal’? 

Perhaps you are struggling on your journey to achieving your ‘success’ and you may be suffering the consequences of one or more of the nine common delusions about achieving success. Depending on how much you believe your ‘success’ is down to what you do (cause) and how much is down to external forces over which you have little or no control (effect) determines where you might be:
